I've got to learn to push
I've got to learn to push your buttons
I've got to learn to punch
I've got to learn to punch-in
and drink from styrofoam cups
try to wake up
to the music of hydraulic precision
Everyone's frowns
can be measured in pounds
but I'm learning to love the factory
I've got to learn to love
I've got to learn to love my co-workers
I've got to learn to love
I've got to learn to love
to eat my lunch in my car
listen to all
of the meaningless conversations about
lottery pools, and kids still in school
but I'm learning to love the factory
At the Vice & Virtue Ministry
You'll earn your etiquette degree
Climb the ranks and join us here
amongst the bourgeoisie
We all laugh endlessly
Extend our pinkies when we drink
and thumb our noses at the lower classes in the penny seats
You'll move up socially
fall in love with aristocracy
wear the right clothes
say the right things
then you just might meet the Queen
We'll have our guests to tea
play croquet on the greens
wear out monocles
quote articles
from Tennyson and Keats
Spend our days at
Gay soirees
and wave from royal parades
Spend our evenings
Counting earnings
Yachting down the Thames
At the Vice & Virtue Ministry
You'll earn your etiquette degree
Climb the ranks and join us here
amongst the bourgeoisie
We all laugh endlessly
Extend our pinkies when we drink
and thumb our noses at the lower classes in the penny seats
Spend our days at
Gay soirees
and wave from royal parades
Spend our evenings
Counting earnings
Yachting down the Thames
Right before the flashing lights come
she falls over and sees white
She's been drinking on the job and when
she gets called out of her office
for her daily reprimand
She doesn't even care at all
just stares up at the curtains
and coffee spilled on the desk
Right before the
flashing lights come
She falls over and sees
white
She's writing her little poems again
never wants to have them published
she tucks them into her head
where nobody ever goes
Noone even wants to try
and scratch the surface of
Right before the
flashing lights come
She falls over and sees
white
Mr. Gray
go away
cause you're always stuck in traffic
and can't kick this nasty habit being late
everyday
Don't delay
Mr. Gray
cause he lost the family business
after what got said last Christmas holiday
What'd he say?
Even Mr. Gray looks to the summer sky
and he wonders what it's all about
quickly turns his head to the ground
and he walks
and he frowns
when he talks
at his shoes and his socks
Mr. Gray
I must say
If you make up all your stories
why do you make them so boring anyay?
Mr. Gray
College days
always seem so far away
and yet they should be
cause they are so far away
It's a shame
And even Mr. Gray one time was interesting
and he had something relevant to say
now he sits alone in his chair
and he waits for his hair to turn gray
and he curses his fate
Hip hooray for Mr. Gray
We're so glad you've gone away
We're all glad the stories over...over
Hip hooray for Mr. Gray
We're so glad he's gone away
He got fired now he's tired, so tired
We had a house out in the 'burbs
I made my way up through the firm
Kept the yard nice and pristine
and picture perfect so it seemed
Our welcome matte laid on the floor
we hung a wreath up on the door
but then that letter came unwarned
now perfect isn't very perfect
anymore
We packed our things up in the car
I never shook so very hard
searched the sky for signs of sun
and life had quickly come undone
My wife was crying softly and
the tear stained letter in her hand
cut us both down to the core
now perfect isn't very perfect
No, perfect isn't quite the word for it
Perfect isn't very perfect
Anymore...
If you were mine
then I'd write poetry all day and every night
If you were mine
the seas would part and all the stars would soon align
If you were mine
we'd lay awake and wrap our legs like cypress vines
If you were mine
then I'd read Kierkegaard to make you think I'm bright
If you were mine
we'd talk profusely about European wines
If you were mine
and lived in Wales
I'd set the clocks to Greenwich time
If you were mine
I'd carve wax wings and fly directly towards the sun
If you were mine
We'd make Marquis de Sad look like a frigid nun
Who waxed the floors and opened the trap doors?
Because I'm falling
It's not as if you'd ever call me
but now and then you could
acknowledge I exist
I'd be your pièce de résistance
We'd sit for days on porch swings
make hearts and rusted bed springs sing
in three-four time
If you were mine
If you were mine
I'd sleep outside your door
through torrential rain falls
If you were mine
then I'd stuff thank you cards into the wailing wall
If you were mine
we'd die poetic deaths like in Greek tragic plays
If you were mine
they'd turn our funeral into a holiday
Who waxed the floors and opened the trap doors?
Because I'm falling
It's not as if you'd ever call me
but now and then you could
acknowledge I exist
I'd be your pièce de résistance
We'd sit for days on porch swings
make hearts and rusted bed springs sing
in three-four time
If you were mine
A Momentary Vision of the End of the World As Seen Through the Eyes of a Suburban Housewife
Dogs and cats are speaking Portuguese
and the pipes are leaking
piles and piles of laundry
and credit cards all expire
what timing
and all of the garage doors open
in perfect synchronicity
and all of the washers and driers
take on personalities of you and me
you and me
la la la, lala la la la, lala la la la
She's frantically
writing thank you cards
for her friends and family
people line the curb smiling
all shaking hands
and saying their goodbye's
and all of the mailboxes here
are full to capacity
everyone's license to drive
expires eventually
so do we
so do we
la la la, lala la la la, lala la la la
Begin with step one
Let's assemble your new gun
count the pieces til there's none
we'll use them all before we're done
Make sure the bolt is clean
attach it to the firing pin
lube the bore and check the springs
Is the hammer functioning
for your proper assembly?
Take care the chambers free
to avoid an injury
thread the breach plug
clear debris
it's as easy as 1-2-3
With the safety locked
affix the trigger to the stock
undo the ramrod, pull it off
and keep a close eye on the clock
don't let this thing go off half cocked
We all get hurt
and we all get up
and we all move on
yeah we all move on
We use to waltz outside before the war
beneath the stars we'd spin around the floor
and every morning watch the soldiers leave
in rows lined up like perfect bowling pins
and here, it's just like a costume ball
with lights out and masks on
the air is thicker than London's fog
Ida...don't wait up...
We used to sleep at night before the war
hum to Strauss and never lock the doors
but ships were sunk and someone took the fall
and strung us out like useless paper dolls
and here, alarm clocks are cannonballs
while Judas laughs and, morphine calls
the air is thicker than London's fog
Ida...don't wait up...
I'm the only one standing in the way
of total chaos
total chaos
anyone who says fifteen ounces
makes a pound
must be put down
cause a pound is pound and
a gallon's a gallon
Don't hesitate to calibrate
your dispensing machines
or underestimate
the importance of
Weights, weights and measures
Weights, weights and measures
Am I the only one left that care about
knobs and gauges?
clocks and gauges?
the public relies on all my snap decisions
of precision
English or metric
gas and electric
Don't hesitate to calibrate
your expensive machines
and I'll reiterate
the importance of
Weights, weights and measures
Weights, weights and measures
People all try to be
much more clever
than the other
People all try for
nothing more than
extra silver dollars
I'm the only one standing in the way
of total chaos
total chaos
anyone who says fifteen ounces
makes a pound
must be put down
cause a pound is pound and
a gallon's a gallon
Don't hesitate to calibrate
your expensive machines
and I'll reiterate
the importance of
Weights, weights and measures
Weights, weights and measures
She orders sex and valium
from internet Ukrainians
who found their niche in medicine and porn
He watches sports from satellites
that circle round the earth all night
and gets his news in short sound bites at home
They fell in love in 1965
and promptly had three children at their side
and life was very fine
'til love left in '69
She reads her bible every night
and highlights passages that might
remind her that an afterlife is near
He unplugs his fathers life support
for love, and for the will of course
that sets aside around two-thirds for him
They fell in love in 1965
and promptly had three children at their side
and life was very fine
'til love left in '69
She orders sex and valium
When my head falls off my shoulders
I lose track of time and space
and I'm always glad
when you come over
always glad to see your face
and once in awhile
she waters the carpet
starts to smile
at her apartment
so let's make this a good day
let's make this a good day
for walking outside
taking our time
blinking our eyes
and waving goodbye to all
When I wake up
so much older
all this life
I can't replace
her bibles full of four-leaf clovers
dried and stuck to every page
and flowers grow
out of her ears
and time goes slow
then disappears
so let's make this a good day
let's make this a good day
for walking outside
taking our time
blinking our eyes
and waving goodbye to all
Sometimes my head falls off
At times my head fall off